grillly's xmas blog

well, it's gone midnight so i guess that makes it 2005. right. i came back from the pub early (michelle made me come; i insisted that i didn't want to go, but she said that would make her sad (and push the nails further into baby jesus's eyes)), stayed ten minutes, had a Talisker bought for me, pushed a tenner into the earthquake relife fund, and came back home. i finished off watching Brazil, which really put the fuckers up me. i haven't seen it since Father made us watch it about 17 years ago, so all i remembered was the bit where that man (who i found out was Bobby D) gets covered in newspaper and disappears. if i wasn't in a mood before, the ending of that film really ruined me.

well, so my xmas, etc... stayed in one night and taped (yes, magnetic tape!) all Tim's Smiths records off vinyl (plus b-side only track 'money changes everything). note to purists - 'how soon is now?' is not on 'Meat Is Murder'. please skip this track on the re-issue.

other fond memories include accidentally introducing my lovely cousin Georgie into 'the Killing Game' as she called it (she spotted the cacodemon icon on my desktop... i'm not made of stone...), and visiting Emma (and partner) and Sarah 'Toy' Gill in Nottingham, where i also did my xmas shopping. i bought sick presents for everyone. Emma and i went to the Earahce records xmas party, which i wore my valerie t-shirt for (for some reason, i though that maybe black would be a bit of a cliche). Decapitated were amazing. i danced a bit to them, but they just made you headbang by being so death-core. and i haven't had a proper head bang since i last saw them, with labrat and incision.

but is this what it is now? meeting up for lunch in the next county at the oldest pub in england? Sarah sent me my only christmas card this year, and possibly last year as well. so i'm sending out happy january post cards in the new year, please don't feel obliged to keep them. if you could pass me your address.

Iona said how she didn't like depressing stuff, so i gave her my copy of Oyster Boy as a present, and read her some of the poems. i'd forgotten...

i really got sick of the farm a few days ago, but couldn't get it together to leave. you wouldn't find me in Newcastle tonight. nor Brighton, London or even Manchester. it's hard to keep thinking "it's just another night" when there's so much pressure to do something big. not from the TV companies, of course. they've had so much shit on this year.

i made 3 resolutions last new year; then i dropped one, because it's not something you can try to do. no, you can't hurry love. but the other two i've actually achieved - pass the year, and get a band together. i've been thinking of a cover of "That joke isn't funny anymore" sung open mike style until the last infinite reprise which would go really heavy and post-rock. i was feeling quite secure until recently; did i write up my "winter's a good time to be single" rant? it fell down, because it's also a great time to be in a relationship. being coupled in mid-summer just makes you a cunt, and otherwise you're just tremendously bitter. bitter. but being here, i have been all wistful and folorn. lying in the thick snow on christmas day under neath a garden tree looking up at the stars, wondering at the sheer beauty of the area, but at the same time knowing it would be so much better if i had someone to share it with.

and finally, i present my guest comic: bear and pear! (stolen from Thom)

panel one:
(bear is handing a wrapped box to pear)
B: happy xmas, Pear!

panel two:
(P is tearing the wrapping from the box)
P: a Roy Chubby Brown video? why on earth did you get me that?

Panel three:
B: because i hate you.




even more finally:
Pinocowo!

long ago in central Europe, a buthcer, Gipetto, lovesick, scrawled the graffito of love onto the side of a cow; then the magic of the fairies brought the burger made of the cow to life! "someday," said the burger, "i'll be a real meal!"

there was much more than that of the burger story, but it;s been lost in truncati