firstly: Italian Rita died this morning. Stevie was sat outside the bathroom when i came out, and it was obvious. they'd said for a couple of days that it was going to happen soon, and since she was diagnosed as terminal, it think she's done everything she wanted to - that i know of, at least - and hasn't had a long period of suffering, as is much in her character. she said that saying goodbye to her grandchildren was the hardest thing she'd ever done. she's taught me a lot, in fact many of my opinions come wholesale from her (after careful consideration, she often makes a whole lot of sense), and anyone who's ever commented on my clothes will know my traditional response - '50p from sally army in lockerbie,' since she has kitted out my wardrobe for as long as i can remember. my biggest regret is that i never got round to bringing any of my freinds to see her. she reminded me in so many ways of Aughra, and now she has returned to the stones and trees (dark crystal reference, google it). i'll miss the funeral - scattering her ashes on burnswark hill with a few bottles of scotch - but that's probably just the way she'll have wanted it.

on a lighter note, Hen Heaven benefit weekender:
>Next weekend at splendid Sanctuary Cafe is a Beat Bedsit weekend in aid of
>Hen Heaven, a bird sanctuary in Henfield (no, really). Here's the
>Downstairs At The Sanctuary Cafe,
>Brunswick Street East (off Western Road)
>Brighton, 01273 770006
>Entry each night £5, weekend ticket available on the Friday for £12
>Doors open 7.30pm, music runs till 11.15pm
>Plus DJs and compere Justin Rhyme
>and fabulous cakes and meals upstairs of course...
>Garage pop of the highest calibre
>Spring heeled indie pop fellow with lungs of elastic
>Electronic bubble wrap beat poetry that verges on the unique.
>Thoughtful and incisive acoustic emo.
>Acoustic ska folk punk, pepped up with beats and a heart shaped bass.
>Zounds singer playing a solo set of acoustic sea shanties.
>Subhumans / Citizen Fish / Culture Shock frontman in poetry mode.
>Legendary and elusive anarcho outfit.
>Devastating barrage of venomous and hilarious verse.
>Ultra-indie songwriter - a fusion of Billy Bragg and Half Man Half Biscuit
>with a bit of David Gedge.
>South London English pop eccentrics.
>Lunatic collective of sketches, songs and giant gingerbread men.
>Blissed out indie grooves.
>A lady and her musings on a number of inflammatory subjects.
>Cross the Bonzo Dog Doo Da Band with Syd Barrett and you're close.
>Compere Justin Rhyme with toy obsessed rock combo.
>All money raised after expenses will go to Hen Heaven, a sanctuary for
>ex-battery birds.
>If you want more information, please get in touch.
>Hopefully see you there!

NB. one just hopes that the Mooney following the lovely MJ Hibbett isn't the one we all know and call fuckface, behind his back.


Super Trotter Bros.

can't be bothered to flesh it out. i mean it's obivous really - you do the ARITHMATIC. Satre for 10: mario = del, luigi = rodney, toadstool = uncle albert.

this just in - new Cult Of Luna album best record since the black album.

October tour:
1st DE BERLIN Kastanie
3rd FR PARIS La Locomotive
4th Oxford Zodiac (Tel: 01865 420042)
5th London Garage (Tel: 020 7607 1818)
6th Bradford Rios (Tel: 01274 735549)
7th Leicester The Charlotte (Tel: 0115 912 9000)
8th Leeds Josephs Well (Tel: 0113 2450875)!!!*
9th Sheffield Corporation (Tel: 0114 2760262)
10th Glasgow King Tuts (Tel: 0141 204 5279)
11th Nottingham Rescue Rooms (Tel: 0115 941 2544)
12th Manchester Academy 3 (Tel: 0161 200 2020)
13th Liverpool Academy (Tel: 0151 256 5555)
14th Birmingham Academy 2 (Tel: 0870 9032222)

*the idea of all seven of the cult, and their multifarious instruments, squeezing onto the Joseph's Well stage, is quite pleasing.


best tour ever.


Nov. 25 – Portsmouth, UK @ Wedgewood Rooms
Nov. 26 – Oxford, UK @ Zodiac
Nov. 27 - Leeds, UK @ Cockpit
Nov. 28 - Bristol, UK @ Fleece And Firkin
Nov. 29 - Newport, UK @ Barfly
Nov. 30 - Wolverhampton, UK @ Wulfren
Dec. 01 - Exeter, UK @ Lemon Grove
Dec. 02 - Manchester, UK @ Academy 3
Dec. 03 - Edingburgh, UK @ Liquid Rooms
Dec. 04 - Glasgow, UK @ Garage
Dec. 06 - Newcastle, UK @ Nuu Global
Dec. 07 - Nottingham, UK @ Rock City
Dec. 08 - Northampton, UK @ Roadmenders
Dec. 09 - London, UK @ The Forum
Dec. 10 - Brighton, UK @ Concorde
Dec. 11 - Colchester, UK @ Arts Centre

didn't i say that last time the Duath played?

i'd just like to quote Anaal Nathrakh:
Friday, 13th August 2004
Recording is now complete on Domine Non Es Dignus. Without the use of keyboards, vocal distortion or harmonizers. They are for wimps.
contains a track called "To Err is Human, To Dream - Futile."

bye now.

a quicky...

"It is an old communitarian trick to claim that enlighted individuals - Lenin or Hitler, for example - know what the people really want, that the views and preferences that peiople express are not what they would think if only they could break free from their social condition. the assualt on brands is a new, intellectually feeble twist on this old theme. But the sentiments that lie behind it are equally obnoxious. They hint at fascism, all in the name of the people."

Philip Legrain, 'Open World: the truth about globalisation",

hooray for post 70!

interesting stuff recently that i haven't written:

bumbed into... this is very important. someone called for me, i turned around, and a crazy-looking, wild-haired, 'bloke' was standing in the queue for registration. he said he had been to school with me, did i remember him? i said not yet.. fuck, it was Jihad. as he said his name, his face bloody transformed, i'm not kidding, into his old face. i gave him my number, he said he'd call (but didn't). his friend was utterly short with me - J:"this is my firend grilly from school!" J's freind:"i, who ya doing," then turned away without any intention of saying anything to me ever again.

went to lick the wall. saw valerie. woo!yay! they only got to do four songs, but we *love* them. Chloe poems was ultimate poetry-core; hilarious, threatening, correct, and had the audience by the gingham panties. in attendence: deb pugh and steve, my very good freinds (who i do remember from school), and bizzarely, dave garcon, old freind of my parents, played in tim's band, owns logoprint and was playing that night in robin nature bold's band, 'ism'.

got a call from andrew conway, another school friend i haven't seen for far too long. now in london, which makes fings easy.

back to work now!
see you all in brighton, please come.


More greetings from easyInternetCafe!

the cafe is a seperate business and charges 'net customers 20p a shot to use the loo.
i'm becoming quite a regular here. if it were smaller, and more soulful, i might start to recognise the staff and clientel. except, if it had any character, it would be more expensive, and i would probably go somewhere else. where? a phonebox? at £4 an hour? everybody else is out of business.

the only email i got today was from rounder records in brighton. it was very funny and strange, this week, wasn't it? sorry if you don't get it, had this very good link

this is most definitely NOT my website

an oldish anecdote that needs telling:

i was strolling to the pub, and Dear Darling's 'Everything All At Once' ep (more like a mini album, as it's 5 tracks stretch over 23 minutes) had just started. in front of me, a way away, were Mat and Dom, with a pint of ale ready for me at the table. the albums opening rhyming couplet rang in my ears -
I spend time with you, 'cause i don't have, anything better to do-ooo-ooo-oo-oo...
don't you hate how the font changes? must sort that out.

i heard the words, and saw my friends in front of me, and knew that they didn't match 87)



*this blog is a sackable offence*

what pisses me off? david wrench gig (supporting fi-lo radio, storm records night) on monday is cancelled.
anyone fancy valerie on saturday night?

work is fun though - this week has been very light. my logic is thus: i've signed off work, so they can't possibly sack me for using the internet in work hours (the database is online, so the computers have to be plugged in, you see).

finished consider phlebas; an adequate book. three stars. paid today, so shopping for cds online - but can't remember which ones i wanted. when the hell is a new zabrinski record coming out?

gone off Miss Machine a bit, since i heard 'last night i dreamt that somebody loved me' at a rather oppertune moment. DEP just aren't the Smiths. most bands aren't; there's nothing wrong with not being the Smiths. that's not to say my finger didn't hover over the 'buy' button of 'Caluclating infinity' on earache's webstore. but i thought i'd continue exploring their other material a bit longer first. and they're playing over here again in december, and i'm ^so^ there.

Thanks to Ewa, who sent me a lovely mix CD, with a winter slant. it has three bands i know on - and one song that i'd actually just put on a cd myself! it's magic when that happens (but i wasn't satisfied with the cd i'd made, and so it sits...).

y'see, when i don't blog very often, i can't really think of anything to say. and it's only when i lose myself in someone else, that i find myself, i find myself...


p.s. cheers to nina for mail, i'll 'write' soon.


"guess kids these days just can't tell their gravity from their rotating frames of reference."

that there from "consider phlebas" by Iain M. Banks. of course anti-gravity suits don't work on ring worlds! i love sci-fi. also just read a 'pocket essential' biog of Alan Moore. gee, i didn't know he was the only person writing comics for the last 15 years, and started every cultural revolution in the intervening period. thanks pocket essentials. it was good though. i now know i need to read Miracleman (i've already read some of the later Neil Gaiman ones), and v for vendetta, which play off each other as foils, and basically everything he's ever done, because otherwise, my life isn't worth shit. thanks, pocket essentials.

i've also started reading a very confusing book, about, as the author puts it "strange loops" (or as my brother puts it, "circles"). read reviews at the link.

i've been staring at a computer for 2 days and you should be thankful i've taking this time to write anything. at least it's only LCD. i hate cathode rays.



absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the last two posts have been irish-related jokes, this one goes out to all my very sexy lady friends in dublin...

ladyfest dublin

i trust all you self-realised hardcore lasses will be going; there's just a chance i will be there. how do i know about this? valerie, of course. they'll be playing on the 18th of sept., at the green room, manchester, and i will be there.

now i must download mp3s.

ps. lots of new jokes coming.

absolutely nothing to do with the fact that the last two posts have been irish-related jokes, this one goes out to all my very sexy lady friends in dublin...

ladyfest dublin

i trust all you self-realised hardcore lasses will be going. how do i know about this? valerie, of course. they'll be playing on the 18th of sept., at the green room, manchester, and i will be there.

now i must download mp3s.

ps. lots of new jokes coming.



i can't believe it! another joke!

do you remember the currency Ireland had before the euro, where every coin and note had a dirty innuendo on?


it was dublin tender!
(sounds like, "double entendre")


the new, famous, irish man/psychology student joke!!!!11

made this up on holiday:

this psychology student is running an experiment, right, and she wants to measure the base rate of human error, so she picks a ludricously easy task, and montiors how succesfully volunteers perform at it; she decides to take a pair of chimes and just 'ting!' them together, different numbers of times, and the volunteer must say how many times they hear the sound. so she has lots of volunteers, and gets some good data.

on the last day of the experiment, a stereotypical irish man walks in. she explains the experiment to him again, saying, "all you've got to do is say how many times i've rang the chimes," he says, "okay, okay." so she rings the chimes once - 'ting!' - and the man says, in his best gruff irish accent, "one," and then she rings it several times, and the man pauses a moment and says, "that would be a river-dwelling mammal."
the experimenteer is silent for a beat; then explodes.
"What!? why the hell did you say that? what's that got to do with anything?"
the irish man relaxes back in his chair, takes a wee dram from a previously unobserved bottle of Power's, and says...

"well, you see, with me, it's either one t'ing or an otter!"

PGS! You're all PGS!

there's a revealing, long interview with the *charming* Maria Schneider of pathetic geek stories fame; listen to it here, or go to the link above, and browse to old news where you get a few more links.

in my life: i really need a teddy bear. i've been cuddling my spare pillow all night. not that there's anything wrong with that type of thing, an actual teddy bear won't provide any more comfort than a pillow, but it's the image, yk? who would want to sleep with a guy who sleeps with his pillow? chix dig guys who like teddy bears. but do they like guys who realise that the comfort is merely from holding something soft? probably not, because there is the aesthetic to a teddy bear; even when you're not holding it, it looks cute, and that doesn't happen with a pillow. a pillow is shaped more like a human torso...

...ah, so it was my beloved David Wrench that Thom wouldn't let cover creep (and dickhead got away with it?)
EP: The debut release on Storm records for David will be the WORLD WAR IV e.p. Featuring the tracks WORLD WAR IV, LIKE A COMMUNIST, CREEP, and FUCK YOU AND YOUR WAR ON TERROR. expect to see it in the shops (if not the charts) early next year. David is putting the finishing touches to the forthcoming album THE ATOMIC WORLD OF TOMORROW as we write this.

EP: Due to Radiohead banning the cover of creep, the world war IV ep has been withdrawn. We approached Thom Yorke of the band in manchester to ask why permission was not allowed, but all he did was get angry and started shouting "do you know how hard I work?", well probably quite hard Mr Yorke, but then again so does everyone else I know, and for a fraction of the pay and satisfaction you get out of work. We genuinely believed that Radiohead would have given permission for use of their song on an anti war ep, but they work far too hard apparently. FAKE PLASTIC POP STARS. If you would like to let Radiohead themselves know what you think, the email address for their management is

so it turns out, according to free indie rag The Fly, david wrench's physics teacher at school was motherfucking genius Gorwel Owen. is there no end to the man's talents? apart from producing all my favourite records, he inspired young wrench to do the first ever welsh language acid house track, and taught the coolest subject(?). i do pick 'em don't i? regular readers will know how i bought wrenchy's single superhorny purely because he produced/co-wrote some zabrinski tracks, if i wrote that anecdote up. other facts of wrench (from his biog):
Produced records for Zabrinski, Wendykurk, Adom and MC Mabon.
Engineered records for The Blueskins, Julian Cope, Jackie Leven, David Thomas, British Sea Power,the Archie Bronson Outfit, Ian McCulloch, Ectogram and tons of others.
Did 3 British tours supporting Gorkys Zygotic Mynci.

i still think it's funny that the Welsh for 'welsh', 'cymraeg' sounds like 'cumrag'. still. in the face of all that adversity, and the fact that i deliberately mispronounce it. maybe that has finally excercised all the humour now.

well, i've got a month of laurence's blog to read up on, so i've gotta go. catch you later, hepcats.