the last post seems quite incoherent now that i read it back. it was made up from several digested or expanded diary scribbles so sorry about that.

i'm not going to write a full break down of the x-fest weekend. we didn't get around to recording averagetarian, mwng, or kid a. the day itself was tiring and self-indulgent, the only people there not performing being wags. the whole thing was a teriffic ego-massage - so many talented people telling me i was good, quite a confidence boost. we're just one big self-congratulatory machine. videos and audios will be up in due course on the ex libris records website (now officially online), for everyone who wasn't there. i don't think i got round to recovering from the 4:30 start on friday all weekend, nor did i manage to digest the alcohol that kept me slightly pissed the whole time.

we did get around to recording some acoustic doom-core though, tentatively titled 'hell on earth', which will run six minutes and sixty-six seconds long. the music was recorded in one take, no rehearsal, as was my vocal, which terrified me. i really did not enjoy it, and what came out of me. it's like finding a part of yourself that you really don't like. i spent the whole day slightly shaken after that. but by the afternoon after, i felt pretty good. just waiting from the final mix from andy..

last night i had a call to say my railcard and switch card had been handed into the bank. eh? i thought. i hadn't taken it out of my pocket all day. i know i had it when i got in on tuesday night, but wednesday i had just been on cash so i didn't need it. this is what comes of abandoning your wallet in favour of a small folding thing, you don't notice it if it falls out of your pocket. i was strangely calm at the prospect of having my account raided by internet purchases (the only ones that can get around the pin number) until i realised the amount they could take out of my account was roughly equal to the amount of money i'd saved up this year. and then i was calm again as i realised, again, there was nothing i could do about it. i'm quite good at that. the thing to do is find the certainty, even if that certainty is between two uncertain things; make your peace with both options, and you won't worry whatever happens.

congratulations to laurence and julie for finding a flat in toronto and pete for finding a job in france. things are in motion, aren't they?