there's too much happening at the moment to fit all this stuff in. it's only been a week but i feel like i'm trying to cram stuff in and i always forget the interesting bits, why does that happen? why do i always end up filling in on the facts and leaving the opinion?

take, for instance, harmonicas. this was something i wanted to rant about after green man; while the previous year had been the year of the one-man band, this year had been dominated by shit harmonica playing.a significant number of acts had dreadful moments when they brought out the harmonica and just blew and sucked over the music.

i never mentioned this, although i really wanted to.

i missing out so much. all the little things too; i'll never get that time back and i'll never know what i did with it. i probably just stayed in.

I'm realising now that I've got two weekends to write up and I can't differentiate them.

so all i can remember of the last few days goes something like this:

last night emma came round to play some music, which went well. we got through love and purple milk, emma enjoying (i gather) the versatility of my synthesiser. towards the end she was making some lovely chords and patch, but i couldn't make my damn computer record, no matter how many soundcards i plugged in, and then into each other.

Monday Rachel came round for a candle lit dinner, that briefly saw the entire flat united around the dinner table, but not for long. it's like taking shifts sometimes in this place, and i'm not pretending i'm not guilty of it too. house curry next week, guys?

Sunday sarah came round to play music, which was good but she said she wouldn't commit to a 'serious' live project. *sigh*. However, the 'mwng' (beard?) project seems to work, our voices sounded lovely together and most of the songs are fairly easy to work out. The night ended with a listen through to parklife, still hard to displace as best album of the nineties.

Saturday I woke up at rachel's, but she was gone to Birmingham. It was midday and I wasn't eating. I wandered into town with ian to look for shoes with no luck, went into forbidden planet to see if they had any signed phonograms (they didn't, but we had a nosy in the trade paperback;, then had a look up the techno-dump of Tottenham court road for an alarm clock cd player. To no avail. Went home, then over to leslie and niel's to play with georgie's magic set and break the fast; went out to meet my old school pal deb at archway and introduce her to girls girls girls; a great gig with a strong fan base in attendance.from there, caught the last line down so far south to new cross, where once I might have lived. Robbie's band, maybe myrtle tyrtle, were playing at a weird cool housing project festival. it reminded me a bit of christania. very independanty. i got there just as they were finishing. to be honest, outside the immediate area of the housing block, it was quite scary; a woman i asked for directions thought i was gonna mug her. everyone i actually saw around was really nice but sparse. I got back at half four resulting in another midday rising.

Friday after work I was the usual knackered, the usual go home for a bite and a shower and an internet, the usual hour on the tube heading out across London to the east end, the usual getting there far too late. I hunted around for the dirty three, and found they were leaving to go somewhere. It was basically another hour before we managed to sit down in some bar at the top of brick lane, morrocan style but with fairy lights. I was on water (which I never received) as I was fasting. Brick lane was a stressful horror of people, cars, darkness, and thumping music that felt like being kicked in the head. Jo left early, giving up on the night as a lost cause; ruth went off to jazz café, Rachel and I went back to hers, although because she was off early in the morning, I had assumed I would just be going back home.

Thursday I met Robbie and adam and his friends down round London bridge, an area with so much obvious history, and it felt just like thief. The shadows were actually dark enough to hide in, the streets thin and tall, even the impassable barriers of conveniently placed repairs were right where they ought to be. I gave out cds for beer, how it should be.

Before that, things are more difficult.

I stayed at rachel's on the friday before and walked down the market for breakfast and coffee with the gang on Saturday morning. Jasmine's pub crawl was cancelled so we had our picnic on hampstead heath instead – a classic picnic, and we even managed to get our own very decent fire going, without the instructions of luke. Newspapers help. We debased at 11 o'clock after singing through various points of cultural reference, from the sound of music to trapped in the closet (which we have adopted the sentence structure, rising in pitch at the end of every sentence). I actually do have a problem with it; it's possible I've now heard that one bar of music more than any other already, and I have dreamt I was taking part in it, a 'player', if you will. We all went our separates, some going off to jazz café, me hardcoring it out to unskinny bop to meet robin. However, my plans were foiled; I bumped into michelle on the bus back to Bethnal green, took her briefly back to rachel's to dump my stuff (leading to a situation as I knew it would, but I couldn't exactly leave her downstairs could I?). by the time we got to the pleasure unit, it was quarter past one, and it turned out they stopped letting people in at midnight. So that was rubbished. michelle and I went back to the bus stop and carted ourselves to our homes.

Sunday Rachel and I went to her mum's friend's 60th birthday party on a boat on the thames, where we spent most of the trip, from houses of parliament to the far side of the isle of dogs and back, entertaining a small excited child who believed the boat was powered by dinosaurs. Well you know, why get someone to look after your kids when you can just take them to the party with you and dump them on someone else to look after for three hours? Not that I didn't enjoy the repetitive attempts at poisoning me the kid was trying.

Monday was the locust and I didn't go. I'm not sure why not – cost, effort, last album, all of these things were factors. i did the same with euros childs tonight.

in between that monday and that friday is where it all gets difficult to pin down. can anyone remind me if i did anything with them?
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