do you believe in the power of dreams?

i recited these dreams to myself many times, until i was sure to remember them. there was a third but it mustn't have been worth remembering.

dream one
i landed a job as a computer programmer. cause for celebration? no. the person working on my right was a hateful moron, and the person on my left was ollie glass. he had headphones on and asked me some question loudly. it may have been offensive, or it may have been understanding - i remember both emotions. so, this being a dream, i shot him, only, it turned out he was a t1000 and no matter how many times, he kept reforming; then i sodomised a penguin.

dream two
mark z. danielewski had a new book out. it was written in two colours, and had loads of inserts and junk kept falling out of it. it cost 68 pounds.
the manchester evening news reported that my father was having an affair, and as such, there was a media circus outside his flat (where i am typing this now, but it didn't look anything like it). he was nowhere to be found. i took a stroll down to his restaurant, and there he was, with a big fake moustache, odd clothing and a wig.

happy new year everyone!


Anonymous said...

i take it you mean sodomy in the biblical sense i.e. wrong sex. penguins have a stunningly versatile cloaca, imagine that!

Unknown said...

in 'everything you wanted to know about sex but were afraid to ask', the sketch 'what is sodomy?' involves a man in love with a sheep, and gene wilder, thus sodomy here must mean 'jewish comedy'.

however, whereas, it is technically sodom-tastic to perform any 'misuse' of gentilia, in this dream, i was actually buggering a penguin (not sure of the penguin's gender right now). when i woke i did contemplate whether it is possible to bugger a penguin, what with their different arses and everything (yes, cloaca, thanks for the right word there).