so amanda and i arrange to meet in a busy pub about 8. three hours of conversations and three pints later, and we're evicted into the noisy night. goodbyes lead to hugs; she kissed first. i can't remember what order things happened in after that; cheek, mouth, hands, tongue... i walked her the 20 metres to the tube, and we had a long, serious, parting kiss. it felt kind of brazen being so public; i should remember, as much as i deninied being drunk to ed, i'm really a two pint man, and i didn't get any dinner.
i floated home in a cloud of glee. couldn't sleep, but what little i did was dreams (the gorky's lyric is so true; 'if i walk you home then it's understood, i'll dream of you', and is going on the mixtape). i've been through the usual emotions; wonderment, thinking 'you should be here' at night, self doubt.
but now the thought keeps me warm. it's sick really isn't it.
amanda, if you're reading - please don't scroll down.
but yes, hopefully things will go as well with other band members, and ian will forgive me for being a dick to him.
so yes, i've been working in this post room for ealing pct. it's not exactly bringing home the smoked tofu - the hours are short and shit - but it's a proverbial foot in the door with a new temp agency.