the most embarresing phone call i've ever had to make

monday morning after half term. i've got a full to-do list to work my way through, but at the top of it is 'ring agencies'. after all, there's no point doing any of the other things if i could actually be working instead. so i call reed, and lo and behold, one of their temps just happened to be ill and oh boy, there's a front of house greeting role in the city waiting to be filled asap. smart dress &c - i take it and run to the bathroom to have a shave. as i'm laying out my clothes, i find my 'smart' shoes - a pair of doc martens boots - and remember that the left shoe has split away from the sole in a huge, unmistakable, gape. if this were the shoe people, it would yabber away and that'd be fine, but i weigh up my options and realise there is no way i can make this job in these shoes. so i ring the agency back and say, hi, yeah, uh, i can't do that job after all, because i'm a slovenly ape. i retire back to the to-do list with my pen between my legs, and write at the top: 'job for the day: NEW SHOES'

job number two: beg parents for money for new shoes.
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