dependancy

well this is becoming a regular diary, eh? me sitting here on a sunday writing up the week that was. how predictable. i'll thank myself for it in forty years, if i'm not dead and we're still allowed electricity. god, we're could be in so much trouble.

i really need an rpg tonight. everyone says pokemon rpg is brilliant but i never got into it.. maybe emulators don't do it justice. they're such a terrible investment of time, but when you've got too much time that's a good thing. on the other hand, is there anyone who genuinely has too much time? where's my art now?i'd do some recording but i need to clean up the hard drive first and there's no point doing that until after i move next weekend. i tell you, everything i need to do revolves around my hard drives being full. i've not got enough laundary to put a wash on, yet i'm out of underwear. how did that happen?

i've been working in the city again this week, my bank balance touching the cloth, and now that i have to fork out a deposit 1.5 times greater than my last one, i've finally crapped out. i need something that's going to last. like my last job was meant to.

but in the meantime, my mental map of london is getting better - i now know not just where but what soho is, it's that triangle there, and the city is that bit and the east end fits together like so.

tuesday i put an ikea table together and found i would be working wednesday, in a very very temporary role which so far has quadrupled in length.

it's been a good weekend for reunions and feeling tired. on friday, robbie humphrie's newcastle-based band 'maybe myrtle tyrtle' played at a lovely pub down in whitechapel. i wandered down, and inspired by the impromptu gig the previous week, offered my hand as a support. that time, nervous as i was, i started with only the baying audience of girls girls girls to play to, and i was still nervous. when i took the stage, the tyrtles were still outside having a smoke. robbie's rickenbacker floundered in my hands, it's fuzzy tone suiting neither my clean nor rocking moods, mistakes were a-plenty, and the pub-goers seemed absolutely disinterested. it was worse than an open mic. robbie asked for 24 hour garage people, which i started but aborted and went into ideoteque instead - that's how things were. in fact, the guitar tone was pretty much perfect for that one. some more fiddling and i just gave up and left the soundman to put some records on.
the tyrtles were absolutely brilliant. perhaps appropriately mis-appropriating the gorky's font, or something that looked just like it, they were i suppose, a quirky psych-folk-rock band, but in as much as that, not very much like gorky's. it's hard to describe. thanks to the web, i don't have to.
towards the end of their extensive set, i actually became narcoleptic and kept being woken up by the crash symbol every time it went off. i carried myself home as soon as i could say goodbye with ultimately empty promises to meet up later in the weekend.
i currently have two books in my pockets - 'teach yourself zen' and 'generation x'. "that's a real mcjob" my temporary colleague said to me this week, and i've never realised what a cliche i am until i started reading it. it's nice to know in some ways.

saturday i went with ed and adrian to sign our new housing contract. it's going to be a fine house and the theme of the opening party will apperently be 'crystal maze'. will be a lot of effort i fear, but you know how i love having themed rooms at parties and i've wanted to do it for ever.

signing seemed to take a long time, and tied to meeting tom brimelow, another old school friend, at embankment at seven quite nicely. to my horror, we were meeting him at the chief's suggestion of gordon's winebar. i wasn't buying, and tried not to drink too much of the white wine being passed around, diluting it with irn bru to make it go further (and also taste nicer). many of tom's friends from the ages passed through - macclesfield, school, truro choir, university, current girlfriend. all were repesented, and how well we all got on, i do believe. i'd even met most of them at various points in my quests to visit tom wherever he went in the country; what happened to those days, eh? i had a good and inspiring chat with the chief (aka tim) about work, which i admit went a bit sour when i went vegan on his ass. i just didn't understand how he though that veganism wasn't as good as vegetarianism - it's odd when someone really throws you off your guard like that. i got a bit narky. this was, to be fair, on a boat bar on the thames where i wasn't even accepting offers of drinks anymore. i wasn't enjoying the atmosphere and could see the night going one of two ways - throw desire to the ground and have a massive night out, like what we used to do, edinburgh style, or call it quits and go home. i left and fell asleep on the bus, waking up confused and in the right place, fortunately with all my belongings intact.

today, i met rachel at cafe pogo for breakfast and what i will go ahead and consider our first date, i'm quite perturbed by how straight forward and speedy it all is, but i shouldn't be. then we went to the park for another picnic, but this time james bought a selection of really stupid dips - olive paste, something called 'cemen', which was apparently inedibly hot and of questionable content (is 'meat flavour' veggie? see also 'fake hologram'). lets just stick to humus in future. and baba ganoush. oh, and pickles. and stuff for people who can't eat sesame.
it's too late to start a laundary now.i'll just have a shower and leave it at that. i'll cross the underwear bridge when i get there.

night night
xx