watching two small birds fighting for dominance of the food on the bird table.
there's enough for everyone, but they waste their energy on a squabble in the cold.
this is life: singing while the titanic sinks; fighting over scraps; only thinking of their own survival, rather than the survival of life itself.
and i thought, fuck. this is it. this is all their is; this is all life is capable of.
starlings, on the bird table. a whole bloody flock. eating as much as they can. we can clap them away, but they'll only learn that it's not a threat and so stop reacting. they'll eat until they're full, then they'll have as many babies it takes for their babies to be starving to death. the songbirds regulate their population through territory, but the starlings will just breed and breed, they expand to fill their container like a foam. so we just shouldn't feed them, because it doesn't matter how many of them there are. what matters is the diversity of all the different bird species.
we just aren't capable of organising ourselves. and as a result, we'll die. and it makes me want to kill myself right now because there's no progression, there's no liberty, it's a natural law of physics that the energy you get out of a system is less than the energy you put in. in other words, life isn't worth the effort.
having more people in the world isn't better than having fewer people in the world. it's exactly the same, just with more people dying round the edges. and until we have some sort of communal brain, our shitty competition will only kill us all.